Disagreements with roommates are inevitable, even if you live with friends. But what causes the most tension between roommates? To find out, we asked over 1,000 roommates - here are the top culprits and our advice on how to keep the peace.
1. Cleanliness
That’s right - cleaning came out on top, with over half of roommates saying this was the number one cause of tension in their household. Everyone has different ideas of what ‘clean’ means, so set your expectations from the start. Be honest about your habits and choose roommates with similar standards. If you’re already clashing, talk it out (calmly, of course), and try to reach a compromise. You can suggest dividing chores or setting a cleaning rota - you could even consider splitting the cost of a regular cleaner to save the headache!
2. Noise
Let’s face it, you’re not going to enjoy living with a roommate who loves to party if you’re someone who likes to be in bed by 9pm. Ask prospective roommate(s) about their work schedule and hobbies to make sure your lifestyles align.
Being quiet late at night or early in the morning (especially on a weekday) is a good rule to follow when living with others. Of course, there will always be exceptions - we’ve all been guilty of bringing the after party home once in a while. This is why it’s important to ensure you’re living with the right people for you.
3. Money & bills
Talk openly about how much it costs to live in your home, or what your budget is, and make sure it’s clear how much everyone contributes towards bills. One-off mistakes or unforeseen circumstances do happen - as long as you communicate your circumstances and apologize it should be fine - but repeat offences are unacceptable.
When not paying on time or at all becomes an ongoing issue and it isn’t something that can be worked out between you, it may be necessary to take the next step and ask them to leave or move to a formal eviction proceeding.
4. Not replacing communal stuff
Establish and agree on what the communal items are in your household, and stick to them. Also, it’s a good idea to decide how items will be replaced when they’re finished (so it’s not the same person going to the store every time) - will you create a rota to decide whose turn it is to replace certain items? You could even get a money-splitting app which allows you to invoice your roommates when you buy a communal item. Do whatever works best for you.
Even when systems are put in place, things can still go awry. If someone in your household isn’t playing ball, speak to them privately at first to understand their perspective and hopefully reach an agreement.
5. Eating your food
Don’t take your roommates’ food without asking - simple. If you need something urgently, ask first or replace it right away. But if your food keeps going missing, calmly address it with the person involved and make it clear your items are off-limits. Confusion over whose food is whose can easily happen in a shared kitchen so assigning cupboards/shelves for each person can be helpful in avoiding accidental theft!
Our best advice
Living with roommates can have difficult moments, but it can also be really rewarding. The best thing you can do to avoid conflict is set your expectations from the beginning and maintain open and honest communication. Remember that we’re all human and have different ways of living - respect and understanding go a long way!